Today I attended a very British Christening. This was the first time that I truly felt AMERICAN. Things were just....different. I also felt like I was in a bad British reality show when I encountered some really stuffy people. One for example thought it was amusing to talk about his adventures in 'the horrible city of Detroit.' (Why is it when I tell people I'm from the U.S. they always have to tell a story about their experiences in Florida and how the portion sizes were so large etc etc.)
Anywho, this fella continued to tell these horror stories about Detroit while the crowd gasped at the idea of a security officer holding a gun or how at night you have to turn the lights off inside your car dashboard when you reach a stoplight because the gang bangers will shoot you. *roll eyes* Anywho, if you know me I put up a good 'verbal fight' and proceeded to get our kind gentleman to reveal that he hasn't been anywhere else in the states and every country has bad parts and Detroit should not be an indicator of tourism in the U.S.
I feel like Detroit is that far distant cousin that no one needs to know about. Yes he's done drugs from time to time and is slightly shady but at the end of the day, he's family...and no one talks bad about my family! (Unless you're in the family that is.)
Hang in there Detroit. You'll pull through!
P.S. I'd also like to take this moment to thank the bottle of Prosecco that helped me through this interesting ordeal.
hahahahah I love the analogy
ReplyDeleteWell, great job defending Detroit. Colleen and I have a similar story. We were in Utila, Bay Islands, Honduras, where I went scuba diving. As we walked by a restaurant, I heard someone call my name, which was very confusing since I didn't know anyone on the island. It turns out it was the guy from the scuba shop and his two British friends. One was a cute guy and the other was a woman. Colleen asked the guy from the scuba shop where he was from, and he asked us to guess. (Whoever guessed would get to spend the night with him). A physical description of the guy: small, white, bald, lip pierced, and a tatooed arm. Colleen guessed Belgium. I guessed New Zealand and South Africa. Turns out South Africa was close. Colleen and I proceeded to name every African country, but we kept missing the one he was from.
ReplyDeleteSo I asked them to guess in which country I was born. All three guessed every country in Latin America until they guessed Colombia. Well, the British woman was so pleased that she guessed correctly and that we couldn't. She went on a 20 minute rampage about how idiotic Americans are and how no one in the United States knew anything about geography or civics. She even did quoted a comedian (can't remember which one) to emphasize her point.
Colleen, the scuba guy, the cute British dude and I sat there quietly for 20 minutes until she was done. It was an ode to Colleen and my chillness on this island. We actually just stared at her until she realized how deranged she sounded. Turns out she lives in the states!
BTW, the guy was from Mozambique. I totally won ;)
i loved the post! it's really easy to pick on detroit (and implicitly its residents). it's much more difficult to see the bigger picture. keep it up!
ReplyDeleteRachelle, Olga just gave me the link to your blog. You're hilarious...keep blogging! I love it.
ReplyDeleteMiss you so much, but the blog makes you feel not so far away.
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